“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” ~Mr Rogers
I had a challenging relationship with my mother at the best of times. The month and a half of her final illness (first hospitalization was mid-March, she died April 28) wasn’t easy for her, I did what was needed and necessary as her daughter, her only surviving child. We disagreed about many things over the years, and even when we were most angry or frustrated about the other’s choices, we did so with respect.
I am relieved and feel free for the first time in 30 years; I’d taken care of her in one way or another since my father died in 1989. I’d mourned her as a mother many years ago and was with her throughout her decline. Perhaps in time I’ll write more here, probably not. I often posted was because it was expected and writing a few words was an easy gift. In her flawed way, she cared deeply for me, and I am thankful.
For those feeling the need to do something, please volunteer somewhere that matters to you. If you are able, donations to the Humane Society of Westchester at New Rochelle are appreciated.
If you need help to understand grief, this ball and box analogy is the best I’ve found in my almost thirty years of searching.