tools.. management of self.. maybe

For some reason I have struggled this week to draft today’s post. Every day I walk around and think “oh that would be great to write about Thursday” and make note of it. Inevitably Thursday arrives and I have no idea exactly what or why I want to write despite the lists of great ideas (perhaps it’s too much choice, ooh another topic!). As anyone who visited this site more than once knows, my interests are varied and diverse though I may have some large recurring themes of interest.

As I mature and grow to understand who I am right now and what that means for tomorrow, I try also to come to terms with yesterday. My early life is pretty much un-documented in technology (there are a few snapshots here and there), but since my first email address and my introduction to the internet… there is much of me that is available that I don’t necessarily want the world to see (and some of that reaction to my early life). Much of it is late-(post?)-teen angst, worry, and fear as I left whatever remained of childhood behind. Other of it is late-night angst, worry, and fear as I was alone and wondering about tomorrow. And there are other things potentially available that I might not want to share … I’m going to ask nicely that you don’t hunt for them. I will tell you if I feel I should.

So I ask you, with the rise of blogs, various social networking sites, the ease (and relative low cost) of digital photography and video, unlimited email archives, and late caffeine deprived/induced nights, how do you not put your foot in your mouth — or at least when you wake up not regretting the night before, the week before. [This also includes design of profiles on these places.] ADDED & Edited 5:05-5:10p: maybe this has to do with similar parts of thought as when choosing asubprime? (via boingboing) [disclaimer: I married into a family of economists and those financial types, it’s still mostly greek to me but I hear a LOT about this type of topic and at one time I thought I would spend my life researching neurology/psychology/brain something like that]

It is very easy to type first and think later. I’ve seen some very mature (professionally) clients send emails, which make me cringe, and they would not even THINK to write in a printed letter (due to content, grammar, or typos). I’ve typed first and later wondered if a self in a parallel universe came over and did it for me as it was something I wouldn’t really have wanted to do.

Today when a potential employer (or client) could easily find out much more about you in a very short period of time than was previously possible, how do you manage? Do you have an alternate persona? Is that persona true-to-you? What if it was found out? Do you just hope that “everyone slips up now and then” and you move on? Many people do choose to turn over a new leaf and make a fresh start at various points in their lives. Is that possible?

I don’t know. These are some of the thoughts that have been bouncing around my head lately. They aren’t quite tools, but relate to the many new tools available to us.

NO, I have not (very) recently written something I regret.

YES, I’m embarrassed that my posts aren’t as well written as many of those I read. I’m embarrassed that I don’t always think about my word choices in emails during the “heat of the moment”. I know that my grammar and style need work, which is why my posting schedule is more quantity over quality these days (practice practice practice). I am embarrassed that this site may appear scattered in content to most of the world (to me it seems normal– I’ve always been multi-interests). I’m not really embarrassed that it doesn’t go into much detail of what I do for a living, but I would love it to leverage networking opportunities.

I just hope I don’t regret this post in the morning.

.. in other news ..

  • midnight bunny: I can’t reply to your comments, you have blocked me from replying to your account.
  • We had a very very very soggy and long commute yesterday. I have a very LARGE chaffing scar on my leg from my rain , will be thrown out shortly as a result (that’s what I get for $5 boots). But we had seats.
  • I know that I no longer really comment publicly on current events. It doesn’t mean I don’t think about people affected by them. The reason for this is twofold: 1) I do try to distance myself from the many disasters in the world. Many years ago I followed news developments by the edge of my seat and it was too much. I care very much about everyone and to be so caught up was not healthy for me. 2) I’m actually not really good at publicly stating an opinion. I do get wishy-washy and am easily run over and constantly worry about my opinion hurting someone I care deeply about or if it’s the “right” one. This is based on my early childhood. I’m starting to become bolder, but it’s a very difficult journey. That might sound highly odd for a Barnard alumna, but those were a rocky four years I spent there.
  • Cliches in my writing? Britt has nothing on me — her writing is clear, beautiful, and inspirational to read (opinionated too). ;) It is something I’m working on. That whole “practice practice practice” writing thing. ;)

Thank you!

Reader interactions

8 Replies to “tools.. management of self.. maybe”

  1. You’re making me blush. I appreciate the compliment more than you know. My only push back with your post is to not underestimate what you’ve done with your writing. You’ve combined a wide range of topics under an umbrella that is remarkably cohesive and fascinating. It takes true talent, plus practice, to blend subjects. And you definitely have the talent. Practice will only give you more confidence to see how good you really are.

  2. Oops, my nice long essay got erased because I didn’t answer the number question…

  3. You are right, far too many people hit the send button without thinking of the impact their words will have. Hope you guys escaped the tornado unscathed.

  4. “I’m actually not really good at publicly stating an opinion. I do get wishy-washy and am easily run over and constantly worry about my opinion hurting someone I care deeply about or if it’s the “right” one.”

    I so get what you’re saying, and I feel the same way. Call it lack of self esteem or whatever, but I’ve gotten badly burned by stating my own personal opinion. I panicked last night for *hours* over my latest blog post, but I’m not going to edit it any more or delete it.

  5. No blocking on my account, I simply do not have a comment option available to readers of my journal since I have set comments on disabled. I used to leave comments open on my journal, but ended up with more spam than I wished to deal with. Your page has a wonderful set up for eliminating spam, but with the set up I have, I have continually found that spam somehow finds it’s way into my domain. Yikes! ;)

    I’m sorry about the way my weblog is set up in that regard, because it really limits me with connecting more with others online as I’d like to. I read your weblog every week, and very much enjoy it and enjoy keeping in touch.

    Like what you mentioned in your post, I find that my posts aren’t all that enlightening, as those that I read on the web. At times it makes me feel inadequate online as far as Internet blogging goes, but I try my best.

    I’m mainly a “commenter” online, and on my own site, I just make sporadic journal posts whenever I have time. I’d really like to work on it more, and hopefully I’ll find the time to do so soon. :)


  6. midnightbunny: I meant blocking on your AOL account to reply to emails. I am quite clear how you have set up your websites. I am re-testing sending to your AOL account again. It’s bounced back to me (after about an hour) in the past.

  7. Hi Penny,

    On the aol account, remove the words NOSPAM. ;)

  8. Hi Penny, I just noticed on your recent post that you did remove the NOSPAM from the e-mail address. I checked my AOL e-mail and for some reason it was blocking all mail to my account. I have re-set the filters so it should work now. Thank you for posting about it, because otherwise I would not have known.

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