thank you

[disclaimer: Much of what I write is taken the wrong way. I do not mean this sarcastically, except to mean that I am a complete idiot sometimes (much of the time?). I am working to make my writing mean what I do, but please do not take this as a sarcastic post, I truly mean thank you and wish the following individual and his loved ones the best.]

I would like to thank the very kind mensch who stopped his car and offered to help me as I struggled to carry home my groceries in the chill and wind. I really truly appreciate your offer. I had been grumbling that so many people had passed why didn’t anyone stop? I know we are all very busy erev shabbos, but would 5 minutes really interrupt you [you here meaning everyone who passed me]?

Again, thank you. You have made my week, my month, my year.

I said no, for many bizarre reasons, mainly because I have been stuck in jury duty for the past week, had a difficult work night last night, and really and truly needed a challenge of any sort. Also, I was a complete idiot for purchasing all of that and thinking I could carry it the 3/10ths of a mile home (it’s not far, so why can’t I?). I was very surprised when you stopped. I really am thankful for your offer, if you had seen me at the point just back (where you stopped your car) I would’ve said yes in a heart beat. But I had made it just past that point to my goal and I was then determined to make it home.

Does the store offer delivery ? Yes. Why didn’t I do it? I could barely carry the basket in the store.. how in heck did I think that I could carry it home?

Well, way back when (meep, almost 10 years ago at this point) I could bench (not bentsch, but as in with 45 lb iron bar and any amount of additional weight) my weight + 10%.. Not spectacular, but something I *am* pround of. I’m embarrassed that I can barely do 15 push-ups now (my record was in the 70s after practice) and that I’m very out of shape.

Also, I am just a bloody idiot! I had 10 shopping bags. In them could be found :

– a case of clementines
– half a gallon of apple cider
– half a pound of onion, 1.75 lbs of zuchini, 1.25 lbs of pear, 1.75 lbs of apple, 2 pounds of potato, 3.5 lbs of yam (that is 10.75 lbs for those of you counting, not too heavy)
– a quart of milk
– glass bottle of kedem (the not-smallest size but the one that I can never open (do they crazy glue the cap on?))
– challah and marble cake (light, but now very squashed)
– various other things of various weights

I’m sure many of you are laughing. That’s not hard to carry. No, really, if it was all in box it would have been quite easy, but when it’s scattered around many plastic bags and are odd shaped and you are just over 5 feet and it’s windy and cold it is QUITE difficult to carry, the bags twist and twist and I had headphones in which were shocking me (don’t ask, that’s a longer story).

I had stopped mostly because the bottle of kedem kept whacking me in the ankle. That hurt! I had originally put the clementines in my tote-bag (idiocy number one, it kept sliding off my shoulder) and I was rearranging to make sure all drinks were in the tote bag. I had also tried an experiment to see if I could wear the tote-bag as a back pack (you may have seen this) .. the answer, for me at least, is a very loud NO.

So sir, thank you for being a mensch (i don’t use that word out lightly) and changing my opinion of some of my neighbours. I really truly thank you and wish you and your loved ones a gut shabbos.